Fireball, Rain, Blood, Intervals. Dream song.

1. Wake up completely at 6:00AM.
2. Begin writing. Today's intention- to make everyone around me feel beautiful, hilarious, intelligent.
3. Read manifestos and laugh. Enjoy the possibility of a lively reading of all of these manifestos combined into one performance.
 4. Talk too much.
 5. Go on a run; expand.
6. Write messages to everybody.
7. Listen to the powerful rain on the warehouse roof. Play a song to it. D minor.
8. Music camp with Mat. Solfege/Australian Solfege and Lovely Day. Free Time.
9. God Bless the Child. Receive email from a beloved friend's mother telling her to keep this secret.
10. Long coffee talks at Jellystone Cafe and delicious meusli
11. Discussions of Honest Interaction, Wrapture and the Right Cheesus
12. Putter Around. Covet your neighbor's ox. Devil and angel. 10 Commandment improv.
13. Girl's night, Man meeting
14. Realize what you love in your life, and what is true.

Return to Melbourne: Day One

1. Write a list of alternate titles to Day One: Million-Dollar Horse Massacre, Languages of Robot Future, Bojangles Ballade 1, Ravel and the Name of the Missing Composer, Shy Artist, Problems of Nobility, Notes on Magical Regression/Repression, Tiger Toast
2. Read Mark Twain's "A Tramp Abroad" to get an idea of how one writes humorous travel anecdotes. 3. Get ranked, be an ellen among ellens, a self among selves
4. Do yoga
5. Hesitate before that perfect flat white
6. Remember everything is right here all the time.
7. Do not be afraid or rushed, too slow or fast, everything with a gracious smile
8. Spew the feelings words, a love letter, as follows: Melbourne I tried to remember exactly what I did last time as I stepped out of the airplane, where I went and what I felt, and all of the raw smells. This will not be that, this will be this. And a little sadness at what is this and not that, holding fast to belief in goodness. But do not apply any pressure, let it unfold, let me love. And where there is no fear (seabirds where the fear once grew) there is a new confidence, an excitement, anticipation, pacing around a cold warehouse, delicious apple, train sounds, catching up with my 12-day-as-month ex-boyfriend, trouble in mind, schwalessness, peace and piercing
9. be tense and puttering and sleepy
10. remember today's inspiration M.E. You and your laugh
11. Laugh and laugh and laugh

Things to Consider When Lost and Listless

(and far from home)

1. Restore essence via pure things, dogs and babies, in which your place in the power scheme is always clear (except when it isn't, and you can't make anything do what you want unless you give it a treat)
2. Contemplate the koi in the koi pond.
3. Contemplate the lanai keeping out the summer bugs in wintertime.
4. Smile at Republicans.
5. You took down your Christmas lights so quickly
6. Baby eats a rum ball
7. Sleep next to dog taking deep German Shepherd breaths. I forgot your name, baby.
8. Sign up for Twitter.
9. Read things on the internet and get unclear.
10. Hope you can squeeze poetic pulp out of this California-cum-Florida orangepuff brain.
11. I want to swim with Manatees
12. Consider what they will think of you.
13. Shy mouth, small mouth, downcast eyes, I'm a princess.
14. My Mom was me, and I am her.
15. Read the beginning of everything, and hope for a silence that will carry me through to the end of Something Important. That is why theatre is important. It is self contained. You can't stop it like a movie. You are there. It is complete. It is important. It is experience. It is whole. No text to skim, no chapters to skip through. It is experience. It is pure. It is simple, in its complexity and intelligence, even in the aftermoments, it is the experience.

Tonight I Actually Glimpsed a Glimpse

Considering my Addiction to A Diction...

1. Misquote? Ego.
2. Everything I say is a bunch of stupid stuff.
3. Choose your choiciest words, stay safe, stay politically correct.
4. "Music retard."
5. Anais Nin's diary.
6. A bright light from where lights go on and off at different times.
7. Please please me, Oh Yeah, Like I please you
8. Personal meditative ritual sacred profane theatre
9. Nightmare/Dreamscape of 2 day trips and tidal waves
10. With arms wide open
11. The pain did not kill me, it made me stronger.
12. (Your turn.) The game of cliches, back and forth.
13. Woody Allen Love and Death Menu of Kisses

I Want to Be A Performance Art Tour Guide

poem in praise of speed levitch.

the pursuit of individuality
even if it is a myth
is the beautiful journey
noticing and assimilating details
a tiny knife of opinionlessness punctures all of the vulnerable loves in my heart,
the you-are-interested-in-so-many-things,
pancake person butter of choice
butter and syrup of choice
I chose to be a composer this year
A musician
Because that has chosen me, in some ways
And watching THE CRUISE
That beauty
Performance art tour guide
Haha!
This was a dream of mine long ago
Ever since I saw magical mystery tour
So add another to my lists
All related
All cracking open mystic words
About civilization and
God
Old worlds
Chassidic dance, praise god on the street
In your rainbow colors
For peace
Post-granola girl
Post-confusion
Post-god
Post-individuality
Breathing here
Flea-bitten summertime night
The late birds on branches
I want to lie in a plaza
Gaze at terra cotta buildings
Tell you why it is like those begging moments
And to reveal my deep love of life
Tell you parables
Stories about
Baal shem tov
To give you a FEELING
To GIVE YOU A FEELING
The gift of a feeling
Those things I am interested in
Are those things that were me before I knew I was me
The bondage of self
Keeps me from noticing the world
And away from addictions
That world expands and I notice details
And I can become flowers, appreciate flowers, and like an exhibitionist
Behold me flower!
Appreciate me
I am all curls and quirk
Through those swinging saloon doors
In the ghost town of my purest soul
Time traveler
Take the back to the future three (BEST ONE)
Train back to then
And allow no walls
Only swinging saloon doors
Lively Chassidic saloon jews
Wild jews
Dancing here
Where there is no failure
Only laughter at every failing
And laughter is success

Sick and Onward

1. Make yourself sick again
2. Onward and ever onward
3. Have an out-of-body experience
4. The lights go out
5. Work for 15 minutes.
6. Unwork
7. Joy again in (what else?! the faces of children!)
8. Fragments, this might as well be poetweet
9. re-read cityscapes
10. you and me and the moon. wild sage.
11. suicide prevention games
12. i am your grandma

I Actually Saw a Glimpse

I actually saw a ghost and a glimpse
of the things I'd do for you because I love you
But I mean really love you, not a gazing and starry-eyes, not a moon and a wish and a wish and a wash
no Pines
(and no christmas/yes christmas!)

it looked like a long text (not a message, a text. TEXTUALITY, intertextuality)
it looked like coffee shop conversation, a glow, and a Real Word with you
a Real Word
it looked like a word, something you care about, nothing empty
just eyes, no opinions

like Mother
said the ghost

the giver, the giver.
the curl-up-in-baby's-blood, we both curl up in each other's blood, in each other's baby's blood
our imaginary friends,
all of the things we'll do for each other
for ourselves

tonight i saw a glimpse
of letting go of myths
again and again myths

myths of passion of city of pining of places
and especially of Truth

so much waiting for Truth
the truth to take me off the goat farm, adam pearlman
so much for waiting for the Truth
nice boy from the goat farm