Recipe for The City and Life in The City

1. I like myself in The City, I like The City in myself.
2. Be Part of the Real Hive, not just the Hive Mind. Go to places smells go to schizophrenics at the L train, go to cold air graffiti bus stops coats and scarves.
3. Home in the City
4. Carrot Cardamom Soup in the City
5. This is what I've looked for in theatre, what the neo-futurists gave me tonight. 30 games, connections, experiences with the audience. Invitations for honest playful interaction, to play to love to think feel breathe honesty, more honest and yet not so honest.
5. Cold in the City
6. Mud Tubes Sexy Alabama Bog at Museum of Contemporary Art
7. useless capitalizing and uncapitalizing
8. Love a friend, room to think and breathe and push, this is where you belong and where you are pushed.
9. Sinking in, castles bricks below-level bedrooms, o's for lips like mud fish koi people, all this is superfluous, is honesty
10. Get to the Point, the little black tattoo. Behind my neck.

The Game of Reverse-Reduced Personhood, Played in San Francisco

1. Read You Are Not a Gadget by Lanier
2. Game of actually playing some of these games, as in thinking speaking constructing arguments and then again, writing poems.
3. Get your obnoxiousness AND idiocy caught on tape.
4. Hey, How's Libya?
5. BIG HAIR. Self-consciousness... Analyze What Is Ultimately You Either Got it Or Don't and then forget it, it ain't reality.
6. Mantra: My words aren't my fault, they're the best I got.

I'm reading You Are Not a Gadget for LOLPERA purposes. The reach of the digital revolution, flattened database identity, the misdirected and (whoops?) Maoistness of digital media and "open culture." One of the things Lanier suggests to counteract the deterioration of personhood is to write a blog that's not a fragment, that conveys/creates/constructs/communicates a personal perspective. But then I think in poetry, that's a pure and honest Hobservation of what life is. It is streaming, it is flowing soft thinking, not argument thinking, but nobody can "argue" on that creative wavelength or say NO that is not your experience, it is not divisive, but it is also not the illusion of one hive mind Wikitruth, it is very VERY truly my own perspective, my own memories, my own consciousness. So that's where I'll start to expand outside of DumbBook.

These are still fragments, but they are fragments from moments, real moments, real experience. I'm moving towards becoming a thinking being, not tangled up in sillies and fear and self-consciousness. Though isn't self-consciousness interesting? I love it. Circles of empathy. I'm growing up.

Observations of Orgelwerkentine in San Francisco

Third (wave. world. order.)
coffee over a long black granite table
you and your partner, and you and your partner, and your and your partner.

you sweetheart
you sweetness
offering us whispers of coffee and tea
your lover sleeping
on the mezzanine
overlooking the roof where dogs are champions of potential (weeping) open urban roof top spaces.
someday open. (potentially. weeping.)

You and your small-walking city-eyed twinkle
the city is dirty the city is clean the city is romance the city is mean

coffee words
walk in faster zoo strides.
the city is lonely.
the city is sweet.

Don't Worry, You Look Real Nice.

Holocaust Reparation Cafe. Curly. Many journal voices. Empathy- more loops, bigger soul.

******

In waves of trying/not trying to ride your wavelength
Nasal sniffle eating sounds I make too
Quickly stronger breathe shallow breaths fog up windows to see no skyline
(superior breath)
take off belt
(superior belt)
2 laptops young professional
(inferior speed of shoe removal at airport sneaker vs boot)
inferior superior
homeless
blanket.
help me food change
hipsters with all credit and no change.
GET IT?

ADVERTISING- all that's left.

and by the way, how's libya?

i don't feel guilty about working through the things that made me selfish, i only feel hope in becoming a person who cares and experiences, and creates experiences to create thinkers. starting with me.

The Game of No

Game 1. My first impulse is critical. Critical of myself and others.

Game 2. My first impulsive is loving, supportive of myself and others.

Game 3. I can play both games, and see what happens. One is infinitely more rewarding.

Game 4. And in doing so, recreate the John Lennon Yoko Ono "YES" ladder love-at-first-sight experience. ...Find your John Lennon, Find your Yoko Ono.

More Games, Less Games

Game 1. Remember the game blog, and play again. Think of the 2%-by-decade decline in mental facility that occurs in your twenties and thirties, and say good riddance.

Game 2. Call in sick for work. Dream about how much you love work, wrapped in a blanket.

Game 3. Browse through the muslim conservative blog and consider posting a link on my facebook. But don't you dare do that, cause what if I don't believe it.

Game 4. Consider making this blog public. Who will play these games? These games are my liiifffeeeee

Game 5. Try to beatbox, or at least think about it.

Game 6. Browse through Stuff White People Like because I remember reading how white people love children's games as adults and I always think about this with my game-playing white and non-white friends. Yes, yes I do like those things that white people like... From the LA Times...

"By "white people," Lander doesn't actually mean the more than 221 million Americans who check that box on the decennial census. But that's part of the fun. Lander is doing to whites what scores of journalists and politicians do to non-white minorities every day, "essentializing" complex identities -- that is, stripping away all variety and reducing them to their presumed authentic essences.

One irony-deficient reader complained that the blog was less about white people than it was about yuppies. And without knowing it, she was cutting to the heart of the joke. Lander is gently making fun of the many progressive, educated, upper-middle-class whites who think they are beyond ethnicity or collectively shared tastes, styles or outlook. He's essentially reminding them that they too are part of a group.

Game 7. Vaguely remember my connection to the avant-garde and remember tonight's meeting of the Absurdist Ladies League of Long Beach meeting. Is there an avant-garde anymore?

Empty Your Head

Pride and non-pride are the same.

Proof I know something, proves I know nothing.

I am not an idiot, but I can blank slate-ify.

Memorization takes time and patience.

Time. and Patience.

My brain is good.

Elevator Art = Waste of Time

1. Contrary action = living it up, throwing it down
2. LA Story soundtrack = Titanic soundtrack
3. nonspace no save = I’m holding my tongue holding on to responses, I had to take time to think, we haven’t quite found a rhythm but that’s intriguing, I’m afraid, I want to unwrap, there’s no up down left right, but there’s something that makes me want to adventure, yes, it’s that fearlessness yet again, part-time superhero origin story.
4. Skating through museums = tableaux in elevator
5. good intentions + nervous energy = tongue-tied

Alliteration and Time Experiments

Game 1. Improv games in real life. Start with rewind. At any moment in everyday life, shout "REWIND!" and you and your fellow life livers must reenact the previous moment exactly. Requires observation and listening skills. Also may extend this to include half-life.

Game 2. FIRST CHOICE! in real life. Make others say something other than what they said.

Game 3. Drink and connect the dots. People you thought you knew become connected.

Game 4. Act again! In a play! Feel a tear well in your eye and feel like a real actress again. Being an actress is only a matter of connecting to your humanity. So there... I've just connected to my humanity again.

Game 5. Tennis. The game is- to grunt in success for every failure. Make a team name (TEAM WOLF, Aoooo, or Team Fro Lion, ROAR...) and make memories to last a life time.

Game 6. Kiss cheeks of strangers.

Game 7. Wear a new dress. Give a piano lesson.

Game 8. Sit with Sal in the diamond lights on Cherry street contemplating heightened reality making reality reals vs mundane. Pataphysics or metaphysics? Alfred Jarry anybody?

Game 9. Whisper SUPERMALE to yourself at the coffee shop, feel your legs stick together, love the thick zipper, love the thick sky.

Game 10. Remember waking up, after a night of compiling a playlist of best songs of ever. Yes this is me.

Game 11. Put product in your hair and complain.

Game 12. Crush confessions. (My heart beats loud for you.)

Game 13. Listen to a much respected woman's harrowing escapes and horrifying stories, and pinch yourself. Know it could be you at any moment- your head smashed by a bottle unsuspectedly after parallel parking. BE CAREFUL!

Game 14. Be extra careful.

Game 15. Wonder what you did to deserve the best summer of all time. Love every minute, suck it in, reflect, love it, hold it to your bosom. BOOM BOOM bonfires in your body, every moment something new and old, life goes by and allows you to be so many people, and contain so many realities, it blows my fucking mind.

Game 16. Oh yes, and always flirt. Playful. You can say "If it helps your concept of reality, so be it."

Game 17. Shoe beer.

Game 18. Smash the cigarette, I repeat myself.

Game 19. Careful creatures, curiously coping consciously condoning creation